giveaway noise of a killer over the crunch of the cereal> awesome line.. just a dream.. I wonder.. intriguing sequel.

ohhh, perhaps not just a dream?
i agree with kermitgorf, great line there. :)
LoA

I liked the clink relating to a bullet in a chamber…nice way to get across how much the fear was carrying over into his thinking.

I agree the clink of porcelain sounding like a bullet chamber was a fantastic touch.

Awesome sequel!!
After writing the prequel to this one, I wasn’t really sure where to go with it. This is perfect!!!

Interesting story, but not that amazing… You could have put many more metaphors or whatever in there to make it scarier.