Once upon a midnight dreary, while I drove ‘round drunk and weary
Down around the curious town, lacking activity not a bore
Driving close to curbs, nearly bumping, suddenly there came a thumping
As of something gently bumping, bumping through my core
Only the trash cans dumping, only this and nothing more
only this and nothing more

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the hot September
With each streetlight an ember, I looked for others, there were no more
Eagerly I wished for rest, I wanted to get home soon, lest
I crash into someone else’s car, it was not too far more
Before I get home, home where I can rest my sore
head, my head, sore for ever more.

And the drumming, bumping, thumping continued on again
Something thumping in my trunk made me wonder at the night before
So I wondered, inquired of my drunken brain,
What was it that I’d done the night before?
What had I done the night before?
Of alcohol I’d partake no more.