Ok all, I’m not really happy with the conversations here and I might adjust them later.
I found myself struggling to balance the three different characters points of view and still have the reader be able to keep up.

I’d change that first modifier to “Eric demanded.” Eric shouldn’t be asking; it’s not his style. =P
I think you did a good job with the conversations. I was able to follow along, and I’m usually bad at that sort of thing.

I don’t think the dialog is too bad.
I enjoy the idea of a demigod PI. If you ever decide to publish this as a book, I would definitely buy it.
LoA

@John – Eric is a bit dependent on Ker right now… best not to piss of the help ;) BTW , your getting soft on me, I was missing a period =0

@Pyro – Thanks, I find modifiers disruptive to reading and I was really finding it difficult to have a 3 way conversation without flooding it with he said, she said. I do have plans to turn this series into a manga and release it on my website for free. I’m running a few “tests” now to see if I can pull it off.

@Kev, I suppose that makes sense, but Ker doesn’t realize how dependent Eric is upon him. And by demanding, it would keep up appearances that Ker is lucky to still be alive, rather than figuring out how much he is actually needed. I think Eric is turning soft.
I try to only point out the ones I notice instead of specifically looking for them. If I pointed out every little thing it would get even more annoying. Then I’d have to start paying more attention to my grammar. Can’t have that.

I really love the last couple lines of this one.