For a moment, I sat there, stunned. A few people were shooting me looks, whispering amongst each other. But aside from Paige’s dramatic exit, no one seemed to know anything.
It was strange, all this time, all I’d wanted was for Paige to leave me alone. I’d ignored her, tried to frustrate her, and finally, I’d managed it. She’d snapped. She’d left me alone.
But I didn’t feel better.
I felt worse.
I got up stiffly and headed straight to the bathroom, took one look at myself, and threw up in the sink.
I tried to wash the taste from my mouth, but it wouldn’t go away. I collapsed onto the ground, holding my face in my hands, trying to understand why I was feeling this way. This was what I’d wanted. All along, I’d wanted to be left alone. I’d wanted to be empty. I’d wanted to stay right here, in the moment, and not ever move on.
But now I had what I wanted, I didn’t want it anymore. I couldn’t want it anymore. I shakily stood up, took one look at myself in the mirror, and left the bathroom.