Every time I start running in a good direction, I run directly into a brick wall. Why can’t I live a normal life? Why can’t I feel successful without wondering whats around the corner. Whats does the Devil have to stand in my way around that corner. Well today, I didnt just hit one wall, I hit three, and I dont know what to do. After hitting one, makes you jump up and press on, the second one was directly behind the first one causing me to start to cry and hit the floor. And then I hit the third one, and I’m still layin on the floor with a puddle of tears around me.
I tell my body, that I’m tired of failure, tired of losing and tired of hurting. But everytime I go through it, I never get use to it, it hits me stronger and more painful then before, where is my shield of faith and hope, and then I realized that I never did the beginning steps to earn it. I always begin it, but never finish it, sex, music, work always get in my way. Why do I let it get in me, to taint me, to destroy what dreams I have left…