I cant let my body slip into depression, I cant do that again. I have too many people counting on me not to fail. But what do I do?

I want to lay my body down, and just sleep away my pain, my depression, my struggles, my broken dreams, my walls…

No one can help me, no one can see that I not what I seem, I’m just an image, no one really knows what I secretly hide, you think you know but you have no idea, who I am? You know what I percieve, but not who Demetreus is?

Demetreus aka Detre is a man of God that is confused of how his life should be going? Who is he when the sun goes and no one can see what he does along; how abnormal he is; the struggles that he deals with in the shadows; the pain he takes on; the failures he tries to eliminate; his self-pressure

I always cry out to God when I need him, and honestly I hate that. I want God to know I can take care of myself, but reality is I cant. I need his love to survive, cause I’m only a child, I just wish I could tell my body, mind and soul that.