Ah, a refreshing change of style here. Thanks, Ana, for the challenge. I’ll put up a few more when I’m not totally exhausted to explain the middle parts, the end, then maybe the beginning of this story.

Great entry. It’s also nice to see you branching away from your Bagman series every once in a while. That sequel for your brother’s series doesn’t count.

Haunting entry, though I didn’t quite see the out-of-order bit of it. More to follow, or did I miss something?

@THX, I think he’s taking his time with the other entries.

I really like the feel you have going here, like THX said… haunting. Since I obviously have no opinions of my own today, I also agree with John, nice change of style for you too.

Yeah, it’s not quite out of order yet because there’s only one of them. Kinda like shuffling a 1 card deck…you just don’t get very far :) I’ve got a few different directions I wanna go with this, but haven’t decided which one I’m gonna do. Probably have another one up a bit later after I brainstorm over some hot sake.

Re-reading my comment there, I didn’t mean to come off as a jerk, THX . Humor that was maybe worded badly. Either way, another section of this little series is up.

Oh, this sounds interesting. Poor guy – or is he? We’ll have to find out why he is there…

I love the descriptions here, particularly of the fog. JLaughter, I don’t know if I would write that your character died in the last sentence. That’s too final (no pun intended! :p). You want to keep your reader hooked and clicking on the sequel, so I would remove that bit. It works better without it.

I can’t help but envision a young Robert Duvalle in THX 1482 jogging through the endless, white space trying to get out.