Neat start, really interested to see where it goes

This is not going to be a happy story, is it?

No, THX , it isn’t… Good “start”. I especially liked the dialogue.

Wow, this was really good. I’m looking forward to seeing how this plays out.
You know, I think I’d take out that second “two men” in the first paragraph and replace it with “them.”

Congrats! You won an award in this challenge!
http://ficlets.com/stories/34540