You do a lot of switching between present and past tense in this story. It’s an interesting theme and I think you have the makings for a really good ficlet here if you only cleaned it up a little.

I didn’t have any emotional “buy in”. I guess because he didn’t seem to care, I didn’t. And I think by using he, rather than naming the character, didn’t help much either.

wow..i like the idea of where you’re going with this. it’s really interesting haha and i mean that in a good way. not like people who say “it’s umm..interesting..?” when really they hate it and are just trying to be nice. no. i really like it =)

That is very sad story.. tugs at the heart strings.. I think he cares more than he says, just by his thoughts of family and friends and not wanting to be forgotten.
the remoteness of not naming him actually works.. hes anonymous could be anyone makes it universaly anyone. if that makes any sense?