good idea but really unorganized

how is it unorganized?

For some advice, I think you should make paragraphs so that the eye can rest. And quotations for when they speak. And some other stuff.

Other than that, I love it!
The Jonas Broters are my favorite band :)

For some advice, I think you should make paragraphs so that the eye can rest. And quotations for when they speak. And some other stuff.

Other than that, I love it!
The Jonas Brothers are my favorite band :)

I agree with Freedom. Paragraphs and quotations would come in handy here. It might also help to set a narator to this story, it gets a bit confusing at times.

I usally put quotations i don’t know what i was thinking!!

your a good writer