nice twist, worth the quick read for sure

To be brutally honest, I frowned at the opening lines. But after reading all the way through, I loved it.

Nice twist! I kept imagining the twist to be something to do with the girls somehow, not imagining it had to do with Taylor.
Some slight syntax issues that could be fixed with rewording, but otherwise great job.

Cool little twist. I wasn’t expecting it, and it fit in perfectly with the challenge. I also liked the style in which is was told, somewhat comic-booky, especially towards the beginning. In this phrase, “just so that he can breathe,” you jumped to present tense when the rest of it is in past. But overall, good job.
Thank you very much for the entry.

Thanks for the feedback.
@John: I fixed that lil slip! Thanks for showing me.

@Ana: I made a few ‘syntax’ changes as well. I hope I improved it a little.

Well, I thought it read well! I was not expecting the ending, even though I knew I it would be a twist, so good job! Smart dog!

I didn’t read it before the improvements, but they must have worked. Good job, I like it.

Wow, I didn’t expect that at all. Good twist. I thought it would be something horrid like the girls snuck out and he died trying to save them or something.

This ficlet feels as if it was written by a teenager. Maybe that was the intention? Cool twist.

more like “Paul Harvey and the rest of the story”.

i liked it man is canada nice? my dad was stationed there during vietnam.

I loved the ficlet. But why was dad crying, did the girls not survive?

@TMJY – Which people were stationed in Canada during the Vietnam war? Was your dad catching draft dodging hippies?

Tears of joy, because his babies are alive.

Ok, that’s cool. Somehow I thought that he was crying for them cos they did not make it.