How could I do such a thing. How could I be so selfish. All he wanted was something everyone searched for. It wasn’t my place to judge who he loved. Now I’ve messed up everything. I’ve been making him choose between his girl friend & his best friend & there’s no excuse for it. He used to consider me his best friend so I should have been supporting him not bringing him down with my selfish thoughts & opinions. I want to just wrap him in a huge hug & tell him “I’m sorry” a thousand times over. But he’s gone for the the week & I think it’s going to kill me. I’ve done so many stupid things & he’s always been there for me. And now the one time he needs me the most? I look down on him & frown in horrid judgement. I cannot believe how much I hurt him, how much I kicked him when we was already in so much pain. This isn’t so much a ficlet as it is a weak excuse for an “I’m sorry” letter, but I had to write it. It’s frustrating how ‘sorry’ just isn’t enough to express how I feel. He needs to know how awful I feel.