Mr. Bobanafana cleared his throat.

“In any case, this group was formed as direct opposition to the fallen LoA. The Great, Most Illustrious, Snappily-Dressed, and Above All Humble Stovohobo led the effort along with Elsha – ” here he paused and mentally wolf-whistled. “Reports confirm that Perkins, Ana Cristina, and other head members of the LoA were attempting to create a world in which writers who joined their cause would live forever, through the lost book of necromancy, the Ficlinomicon, and not-as-confirmed reports have surfaced as to the LoA’s plan named GRORA – the Grand Reunification Outline for the Renewal of Awesomeness.”

“So what’s happened to lead up to the fight?” the president asked.

“Ever since John Perkins was assassinated by none other than Mistress Elsha, other members of the New Order of Awesomeness were vying for control. However, he was revived by the sorceress Ana Cristina, who placed him in a life supporting suit. Now, back to the video…these are the few survivors…”