The finger of blame would point to me. Me, in my velociraptor costume that I purchased on a whim from a Universal Studios clearance bin. Everyone, I mean everyone knew I had that costume—I wore it to the company Christmas party, for God’s sake! No one would believe there were actual velociraptors attacking humans. But Earl? The weird guy from the office? The one with all the toys? And that costume?

I had to do something drastic before they came for me.