Your story is fine, but to improve it get rid of the’ ….’ and the ‘ummm’. These wouldn’t be in hand written letter. Good luck.

I’m missing you. But it doesn’t change anything. Sorry.

I read this and immediately thought “Twilight”, which then immediately changed the context of the story for me. Not sure if that is what you intended, but it got me thinking in terms of the book.
But any way you look at it, it’s a good ficlet. It’s honest and raw, and I like that.

I don’t agree, Wyatt. In personal correspondences, and especially in those between teenagers, people tend to write the way they speak. And these may include sentence fragments, ellipses (…) to pause for emphasis, and even “um’s” or “uh’s.” Example:
.
Dear Lin,
Um… has anyone asked you to Prom? Let me know if nobody has.
Actually… tell me if someone has. At least then I won’t be killing myself wondering about it.
Not that I’m killing myself wondering about it.
Okaay… see you in math…
- Alex