Another thing I’m often asked is if I’m 400 years old, why do I look 15? ‘Cause I do. End of story. I always have. Genies can be all ages, but they never change the age they are. If you’re “born” 4, you stay 4. If you’re “born” 92, you stay 92. That’s the way it is. And I know you’re curious, so I’ll tell you how genies are born: when air is dipped in gold. Strange, huh? Not very glamourous, and, to you humans, not possible. But it is. Don’t ask how.

Do you ever wish you were a human being? No. Never. Stupid question. Next.

How do you come out of your home? If it’s rubbed. Duh. That is one thing that humans actually got right about genies. We can’t come out unless we’re summoned. But it’s not that bad. We have all the food we need (even though we don’t need it) and basically everything we want, because we just make things appear. But only for us, and only inside our homes. With the exception of some wishes. But I’ll get to that later.

When the hell is this story actually going to start? Right now.