holding that gift in my hands, feeling it grow warm with my touch, i catch myself again, wondering, about her
wondering exactly what it is shes trying to say, i mean, come on, im an idiot, but im not stupid
i think to myself, well, what did you expect? to just show up in her life and things would just fall into place?
the other side of me, that part i try so hard to get rid of speaks from somewhere in the back of my mind, you know exactly whats going on dont you? did you honestly believe that something good would happen? that you would get the one thing youve dreamed of having? shes everything to you and your nothing to her, she just wont tell you straight out
i hold the gift up to the light, something i looked for with just the thought of making her happy, then i gently place it back in its box
i step out into the bright noon sunshine, one final thought before i walk down the stairs
i dont care, i love making her happy, i love her, regardless of what it does to me