nice, you are taking it in a interesting direction.

I like khepa’s comments and I like your writing and I don’t say that lightly. If you read a comment from me on this site, it’s because I think you have talent. And I truly think that about you. Your “voice” – your “words” and your style of delivery are great but I don’t think that you believe it. Does that make sense? Believe in what you write? If you do that, it will add more confidence and convincability, etc. Do it!

This is fantastic.