It was beautiful. The only thing bugging me was that I wanted him to know who did it, but didn’t want the cops to be able to prove it.

My gut lurched, and made a loud, wet squelching noise. I was more nervous than I’d been letting on to myself, and probably shouldn’t have stopped at McD’s for breakfast. And that’s when inspiration hit.

I went to my car and got a bunch of napkins out of the greasy bag on the passenger seat. Back at his car, I reached through the broken driver’s-side window and used the napkin to open the door, to avoid leaving prints. I looked around, suddenly embarrassed: nobody in sight. I dropped trou and left a present on the driver’s seat, along with the napkins I used to wipe myself.

I was whistling as I returned to my car. I put my hand in my pocket and felt nothing but loose change. I pulled at the door to my car. Not good. I frantically patted my pockets and looked inside my car, knowing what I’d see: my keys on the passenger’s seat, half covered by an empty McDonald’s bag.