Jameson arrived at the ticket counter, hoping he wasn’t too late. “Welcome to Delta Airlines. We love to fly and it shows, ” Gloria said in a flowery voice. “How may I help you?”

“I need a miracle,” Jameson confided. “Please tell me flight 2176 hasn’t left yet?”

“You are in luck, sir,” Gloria gushed. “Flight 2176 has been delayed.”

“Great! Get me on that plane.”

“That won’t be possible,” Gloria’s bubbly facade started to crack.

“Why!? The flight is delayed! You said so yourself! Give me a seat! This is life or death!”

“I would appreciate it it you didn’t threaten me, sir. If you wanted a seat on that flight you should have arrived an hour before your scheduled departure. I can get you on the next flight if you’d like.”

“Okay, fine. When does it leave?”

“Tomorrow afternoon, sir,” Gloria said, again bubbly.

“This is outrageous!” Jameson exclaimed. “The plane is sitting on the runway! Put me on it!”

Gloria picked up the phone, dialed security, and said. “I hope you enjoy body cavity searches, sir.”