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The truth

“It doesn’t matter.” I told her.

“It matters Sean. It matters enough if you’re willing to kill yourself over it.” She was mad at me. It wasn’t like I was trying to kill her.

“It doesn’t matter. It really doens’t.”

“Tell me Sean. Baby, please. I want to help you.” Tears are starting to roll down her face. “I just… I don’t think I could go on without you… Just please… Tell me why…”. It hurts. It hurts to look at her and know that I’ve just done another thing wrong. It would have been easier of she didn’t save me.

I’m despicable.

“I just… It…” What were my reasons? What if I tell her my reasons? They are just stupid reasons, how the fuck am I supposed to make them seem ‘noble’ and not just another teenage suicide cliché? I can’t tell her, I just can’t.

Because I’m afraid.

It’s all because I’m afraid.

“I have my reasons.” I turn away from her. I can’t bare the sight of her weeping like that. She began to talk, but the sliding of the glass door silenced her.

“Hey Sean.” Hilary faintly smiled

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