I’m not worth it.

I’m just not worth it.

I’m filthy, disgusting, disturbed, wrong, and completely unworthy of other people. I don’t deserve to live the life i’ve got. Others deserve it so much more.

I hate myself.

I am afraid.

...

Theres a steady beat in the background. A nice electronic “beep. beep. beep.”. Its bright enough that I don’t want to open my eyes, but I try it anyway.

An image of a hospital room seared my eyes, and I shut them tight again. They must have been closed for a while. I wonder how long i’ve been out when I feel a hand touch mine.

“Thank god she found you when she did. The doctors told us that-”

“Why did she come” I cut in.

“She said she knew something was wrong. Why did you”

“How did she get in?” I cut her off again. My eyes had finally opened, and sitting next to my bed sideis my mother. There are tears in her eyes, and I’m trying to ignore them. I don’t want to think i’d have caused her anything more for pain.

“She kicked open the door. Sean. Why?”

There’s the question