“Are you sure?” Tyler asked.

“Of course!” His dad said. “Hey, we could even pretend to be outraged, if you want. It might be fun!”

“Uh, OK, we can try.”

“Here, let’s start over. Tell us that you’re gay again.”

Tyler stepped out of the room, then walked back in and sighed heavily.

“Mom, Dad, I’m gay.”

“What?! That’s impossible! Not my son, not in my house!” His dad shouted.

“Oh god, my poor baby boy! He’s going to get the AIDS !” His mother said, trying to keep a straight face.

“It’s who I am! And not everyone who’s gay automatically gets AIDS !” Tyler yelled.

“No, this isn’t you! We… we’ll take you to a priest… they have… re-education programs to… f… fix you!”

“Dad, stop laughing, it’s out of character,” Tyler said.

“Right, sorry. Ahem. Oh, Ellen, you should probably be crying.”

“Hm? Oh, OK, right,” his mother said. She cleared her throat a few times and made some unconvincing whimpering sounds.

“Aw come on mom that sounds so fake!” Tyler said.

“I’m sorry honey, I’m trying.”