Bzzzzz. Bzzzzz. Bzzzzz.

Hmm… Is my butt vibrating? That can’t be good…

My ex’s number flashed across the bright screen and for some reason, the vibrating stopped.

“Someone’s thinking of you right now!”

I was surprised to hear him speak just as soon as the metal touched my ear.

“Really, who could that be?”

“Me, of course.”, he answered in a matter of fact tone.

“That’s nice to know…” I said, sort of absent mindedly.

“You know, I thought you would be upset to hear from me. I mean, if you take into consideration that the last time we were together, I left you.”

I could imagine the look in his eyes, and my hands itched to slap that smug smile off his face.

“Well it’s a good thing you did, because that very night-”

He cut me off. “Uh ohh. I know that voice…”

Silence.

“Well, are you going to tell me who the father is, or what?”

My expression shifted to outrage as my finger reached for the ‘End’ button. How dare he think that I.... Of all people….