“My point is that those things are supposed to take five seconds off your life!” I exclaimed.

Tom half-smiled. “Lemme show you the last five seconds of my life, Scot.”

Tom snapped his fingers and a translucent sheet of…something materialized in his hand. The sheet lit up and showed a man who showed resemblance to Tom, except about ten years older, atop a cliff in the middle of an epic sword fight with Chuck Norris. For five seconds, they fought fiercely; the end result being Tom getting sliced in half and having his soul eaten my Chuck Norris.

“That’s the last five seconds of your life?” I asked, skeptical.

“Yeah, I always wanted to die a one of the guys in Highlander, except with Chuck Norris.” Tom said, lit up his cigarette by conjuring a flame in his fingertips, and smiled reminiscently.

“Wait, how can you die on Earth if you’re God?” I asked.