Dear God,

It’s been 26 years since you killed my grandfather. Most of my family made excuses for you, saying that it was for the best, and that you had some sort of plan. But the fact is, I was seven years old, and you took away my favorite person in the world. You killed him.

Since that time you’ve killed millions more. Some deserved to die, but most were innocent bystanders, caught by your rage. You’ve killed doctors, firemen, and all manner of good people, along with the scourge of society. You’ve killed countless children before they could grow up to be the person they were destined to become, yet you let Adolf Hitler grow into a monster; a sort of mini-you.

I’d just like to take this opportunity to tell you that I think you are the most despicable monster ever envisioned. You’re the most heartless, ruthless, murderer, that any twisted mind could have ever imagined into existence.

If you were real, I’d totally tell you to fuck off as I tore your icy, still-beating heart from your chest. Asshole.

John