How do I explain this to you? How do I explain any of this to you? If you were here I could show you… but you’re not… and I need you to be.

I understand I hurt you… People make mistakes, you know that. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is I mesed up and I hurt you. How do you expect me to live with that?

I truly understand what I’ve always find of known. I would do anything for you regardless of what it did to me. Hurting you is something I never want to do… because I’m not good with dealing with painful things, and hurting you would be hurting a part of my self… my soul.

How do I transfer these feelings into something others can understand? Myself included. When you ask me to explain, it hurts knowing I’ve disapointed you when I can’t tell you the things in my heart.

A writer at a loss for words. I honestly can’t find the words to descirbe all I feel. But I do the best I can and hope and pray that it is enough for you… because all I ever want is to make you happy.