Thomas got inside the barrel and stared at the hole from
inside thinking, hmmmm, I’ve got a serpent of my own… I
wonder if there’s enough room in here for ‘Crown Me
Tarzan King Of Mars’

And then he woke up!

He awoke in Bloody Jenny’s quarters, the nasty wench from
Detroit, Michigan resting her big head and nappy red mop
of hair on his sinewy limb. Looking to his left, he realized he
had spent the night with Bloody Jenny in the worst possible
way! After all, they didn’t call her bloody Jenny for nuthin’!
He looked down at his crotch just to make sure everything
was in place. Whew! The seaman gave a heartfelt sigh of
relief that the rumors were not true and that her dagger
and his were not in sight.

He considered chewing off his entire left arm, but thought
better of it as Bloody Jenny awoke, opening her toothless mouth for a long french kiss.

She stared deep into his eyes and said, “That was great, mate! May I see your sea serpent again?”

“Um… grog!!”

“huh?”

“More grog!”