It has always bothered me that media representation of exorcisms has omitted one of the more sketchy standard practices of the rite: suffocation. And yes, the Vade retro satana is an actual exorcism ritual. And yes, I did really have to fight the urge to subtitle this piece A New Pope.

Just received a note asking me what the “Latin sounding parts” of this story were. They are, in fact, Latin and are taken directly from the Vade retro satana ritual. The translation, roughly is: Crux sancta sit mihi lux means “May the Holy Cross be my light,” Non draco sit mihi dux means “May the Serpent not mislead me,” Vade retro satana means “Be repelled, Satan,” and Nunquam suade mihi vana means “Do not tempt me.” Or, roughly that’s what they mean (poetic liberties taken and all).

Great work. There’s actual menace and mounting terror in there. A fanatic is a lot scarier than any monster or demon can ever be. Good job on the research, too.

A New Pope? Stay away from the joke titles, my friend. Once you start down that path, there’s no coming back…

Thanks for the compliments. Sadly, this didn’t require much research; I used to have quite the obsession with real-life exorcisms and witch hunts. Random fact: the two main causes of death during an exorcism are suffocation and starvation; though adrenaline overload and crucifiction are my personal favs. And after I typed IV into the title, I couldn’t get A New Hope outta my head – damn you, George Lucas.

Wow. Very haunting!

I’m just sad because it’s been 7 months and there are no sequels left.