Names are funny things. A name that starts out sounding strange and lopsided soon, after saying it endlessly, begins to roll off the tongue smooth and soft. Most having deep linguistic roots in the culture of some homeland, names can mean many things to many different people. Sometimes, names are ironic towards what that person does.

Like Sam Church, a Baptist preacher. Or Abraham Church, the man in charge of bringing crosses to Klu Klux Klan meetings in a small town in Texas for burning.

Like Mike Steehl, the owner of an I-Beam distributing company. Or Anthony Steehl, the man third on the FBI ’s most wanted list for stealing the original Declaration of Independence, a fact that even most Presidents never know.

Like Tim Slain, a coroner from Boston, Massachusetts. Or Frank Slain, the man holding a gun to my head.