I don’t care. You know what? I just don’t.

I don’t care if I’m supposed to. I don’t. And nothing is going to change that.

I don’t care if this is selfish. I don’t care if it’s not the right thing to do, the right way to feel, the right thing to think. Because it’s gotten to that… I can’t fucking say what I think because I’m not allowed to be thinking like that.

But- I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry about the past, I’m not sorry about my thoughts, my feelings. I’m not sorry about some of my actions. A lot of my actions.

I don’t care if I’m supposed to be sorry for some of the things I did. Or didn’t do.

I’m just not.
I thought I was.
But I’m not.

And you know what? I’m kind of glad I’m not.
Even though I probably shouldn’t be. Even though I should probably feel guilty.

I… can’t find the guilt. No matter how hard I try.
I can fake it.
I’m really good at… faking.

But… I don’t feel guilty.

I’m not sorry.
And I don’t care.
I just… don’t.