“Yes,” she said, “you can take your shirt off but you are going to have to put on this.”

She opened a drawer on the table next to her bed and pulled out a purple see-through blouse.

“What in the hell is that?” I asked.

“A blouse.”

“I’m not wearing that.”

“You want some of this?” She pointed down at ‘dangerous’.

“Shit yes.”

“Then put on the blouse, stalker, and you’ll get some danger in your life.”

I put on the dadgum blouse.

“Take off your shirt first, idiot.” She said.

I did as she said and then laid down on her bed when she instructed me to. “This isn’t going to turn into ‘Bull Durham,’ is it?” I asked.

“No,” she said. “I hate poetry. Hold on I got one more thing in this drawer for you.” She reached back and pulled out a cucumber.

“Is that still fresh?”

“I bought it this morning.”

“And here I thought you were a vampire or a witch or something but it turns out you’re a vegetarian. That’s not very dangerous.”