“Hello? Can anyone hear me?â€? Smacking around the spot where he had seen the starship captain activate the communications box, Crewman Thirteen, a forgettable young man with sub-par looks attempted to make what could possibly be the most important call of his life. Unfortunately, he had no idea how to work the glowing control panels. As a lowly crewman, his current duties included scouring hardened kumquat from the bottom of pans and relaying ink splattered envelopes with very official seals on them. He smacked the panel again. “Is this thing even on?â€?

Much to his astonishment, a buzz sounded over the intercom, followed by an annoyed voice. “This is Interplanetary Command Alpha Base. Please identify before continuing transmission.â€?

“Yes!â€? he squealed, doing a dance of joy in his plaid bath robe before responding. Reading off the string of numbers taped to the corner, he hoped it meant something to them.

“We have this number registered to Interplanetary Cruiser Platypus Regina, verify.â€?