“Hello,” you say into the headset. “Abrams, Quinn and Zelanski, Quality Felt-tip Pens since 1874; how may I direct your call? Thank you. Please hold.”

You press a button and turn to Jane, who works next to you.

“Paraguay?” she asks.

“Yeah. Like I could just get a day off work and flit off to wherever. It takes me, like, a half hour just to pack.”

“It’s the – hang on -” she expertly handles a call. “It’s the same thing with me. Would you believe NASA called me yesterday to try to guilt me into going up to the ISS on short notice to fix their air or something? I told ‘em I needed six months.”

Your phone buzzes.

“Oh God!” a voice screams in your ear. “Sasquatch – they’re attacking! There must be thousands.”

You:

1) Calmly advise the caller that Sasquatch Prevention And Control is 3297 and he has accidentally dialed 3294;

or, you:

2) Put the call through to Murph on the third floor, figuring he’s a Bigfoot and might be able to help your caller, even though he really should have dialed 3297.