NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=*[

It’s good, especially the end, but the flow between this one and the last is a bit choppy. How did she change from following to threatening them? And where did Mr. Wiggles come from?

o.k so its the next day and Lyra gets Bartemus’s beloved chew toy out of his grasp and threatens to chop its head off
why did she threaten them?
shes pissed becuase they have not told her why she is here, i probaly should have included that in the story…thanx officially for giving criticsim too, that always helps (:

also it was hard with the 1024 limit (;

I actually gathered most of what you said from the story, and it is, of course, pretty funny too.

thanx stovohobo

lmao…i agree with officially though, but the flow is choppy…great cliffhanger at the end, btw. i cant WAIT for the sequel!!

thats murder!! :(

hahha.
mr wiggles is creepy anyway.
i won’t miss him.
=]

ha ha ha