We knew that old lady, little ‘ol Miss Cherry Mae Margarita was downright crazy. Yes sir, we sure did. Of course, everyone knew.

She would come down everyday to the Piggly Wiggly on Captain Beefhart street and buy nothin but cheese. Yeah, cheese. I mean, she had a whole cart full of it, just piled up to the top. Nobody never knew why, no sir.

I hear one day that ‘ol Miss Margarita gone done and died. Doctor said it was cheese poisonin’. You hear that? Cheese poisinin’. I ain’t never eaten cheese since, no sir.

They had the whole lot of Pintuckle County hazardous team in her house, just ‘a bringin’ out that moldy cheese. Thought poor ‘ol Miss Cherry Mae’s a makin’ chemical bombs in there. We ain’t got no terrorist in Pintuckle County, I tell you what.

Then, they brought out the cats. She had loads of ‘em. And each one was named after a cheese: Fontina, Swiss, Brie, Bleu, Gouda, Asiago, Monterey Jack, Cheddar, and Provalone.

Ain’t never seen such a sight, no sir.