Hm. I like the prompt, and think that the story has promise, but something is lost in the method of delivery. Maybe it’s just my personal preference though.

I know its Not Shakespeare lol, my 1st attempt at a play, i wanted a larger battle but space limit rears its ugly head again lol

I agree that this has potential, and it seems to beg for a larger space. Perhaps you should give it a go.

I agree with the aforementioned comments. That is all.