The Tube

“Is this your first MRI ? Are you Claustrophobic?â€?

“Not that I know of.â€? What a stupid question wouldn’t I know if I were claustrophobic. Damn I was just crawling beneath the cockpit of 707. Shoot man I ain’t no Closetphobe.

“Just checking. Procedure you know. Are you comfortable?â€?

“Not really.â€? What is this guy kidding? I feel like a slab of meat on a metal two by four.

“You won’t be able to move once you’re in the tube. Take this emergency button should you feel discomfort just press it.”

I give him the thumbs up what kind of bozo is this tech. Here we go. Wait my head is entering no this feels like I am inside a straw. My arm hairs are standing up. Breathe! Breathe! Haagh! Eh! Eh! Can’t catch my breath! Whoa what’s happening! Neck hairs are standing straight like little Kamikazes waiting to fly into battle. Haagh! Ehh! Ehh! Breathe damn it. Goose bumps, prickles everywhere. NOOOOOOO ! My nose is touching the damn machine. The button! The damn button! Damnit get me outta here!

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