Places Gone By

by THX 0477

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The warm Carolina breeze kisses my cheek as I walk down the familiar road, now grown unfamiliar with intervening years. This is the place. Isn’t this the place?

Sunlight glints off the razor wire, at once menacing and comforting, as I turn into the woods on a worn path. I feel keenly the roots and ruts through my Converse, worn and faded like my memories of this place, this sanctuary of imagination.

We called it ‘Yoda’s Hut’, a hollow under sturdy roots. I smile, hearing in my mind’s ear our childish laughter. When did I stop laughing? I taste it again, the salty rush in the back of my throat. I choke it back. Real men don’t cry, nor do they sniffle.

There it is, looking so small and insignificant now. But the smell is there, earthy and moist. It smells like play, messy abandon for the sake of fun. It smells like childhood.

But I look around, no children here. Barely twelve, and I see that life goes on. You can’t go back. You can’t recapture youth, not even in this place, not anywhere.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Places Gone By

    pie_is_good's Buddy Icon pie_is_good

    Posted 7 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I did the same challenge—it seems we wrote ours in similar veins. Yours is absolutely amazing. I love it. Especially since with the line “We called it ‘Yoda’s Hut’” I have a very exact picture of what the place looks like.

    Good job. :)

  2. Places Gone By

    Mistress Elsha Hawk's Buddy Icon Mistress Elsha Hawk

    Posted 7 months ago

    I like ‘When did I stop laughing?”. I wish I could go back to the little haven in the woods I had growing up, but alas, coal mines. I can smell your story, fabulous! And the last line is the best!

  3. Places Gone By

    .:band baby:.'s Buddy Icon .:band baby:.

    Posted 7 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    wow. I could really see what your ‘Yoda’s Hut.’ And I can see a boy walking up, remembering playing insdie of it. Nice job.
    LoA

  4. Places Gone By

    SKermitgorf's Buddy Icon SKermitgorf

    Posted 7 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    you paint a vivid picture, my minds eye sees and feels what you wrote, a piece of childhood, a wonderful memory thats lasts a lifetime, funny how going back to places you can hear/see/taste what it was like in a diffrent time in your life. Would that I couold stop time, or as the song goes, save time in a bottle, you did a great job of captureing a time and place.

  5. Places Gone By

    Blusparrow's Buddy Icon Blusparrow

    Posted 7 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    aww that is so cool!
    I wish I had a “Yoda’s hut” when I was a little kid!

  6. Places Gone By

    Eckhouse's Buddy Icon Eckhouse

    Posted 7 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Rather mature soul searching for a twelve-year-old, but then we do grow up fast down here. Thomas Wolfe was and still is right.

  7. Places Gone By

    Storykeeper of Fae's Buddy Icon Storykeeper of Fae

    Posted 7 months ago

    This is amazing. I seriously have to bookmark it, it’s one of the best things I’ve ever read.
    LoA

  8. Places Gone By

    emma jo_234's Buddy Icon emma jo_234

    Posted 7 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Oh, wow. Beautiful. It’s things like this that make me afraid of growing up too fast. Imagine getting so involved and emotional over a story. Now that’s what I call “good writing.”

  9. Places Gone By

    Tad Winslow's Buddy Icon Tad Winslow

    Posted 7 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I’m lucky to still have friends that I grew up with, they help me recapture my youth if only a little, not entirely. Here’s a surprise comment I’m sure you’ve never heard before because you aren’t that good of a storyspeller <<<<< That was a tremendous ficlet!

  10. Places Gone By

    Tad Winslow's Buddy Icon Tad Winslow

    Posted 7 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    The part about being a bad writer was meant with heavy sarcasm.

  11. Places Gone By

    wytherwings' Buddy Icon wytherwings

    Posted 7 months ago

    thats beautiful, amazing

  12. Places Gone By

    emma jo_234's Buddy Icon emma jo_234

    Posted 7 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Hey, it’s the Featured Ficlet!! Congrats!!

  13. Places Gone By

    Blusparrow's Buddy Icon Blusparrow

    Posted 7 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    ya congrats on featured ficlet!!!!!

  14. Places Gone By

    Heygabe's Buddy Icon Heygabe

    Posted 7 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Nice. Needs more description. Also needs a hook. Why should I read this story?

  15. Places Gone By

    Batak Beatrix's Buddy Icon Batak Beatrix

    Posted 7 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Very nicely captures the pain of leaving childhood behind. There are so many things to look forward too, but God, it’s hard looking back…

  16. Places Gone By

    Saint Chuck's Buddy Icon Saint Chuck

    Posted 7 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Everybody seems to have said all there is to say. So let me simply ask: can you write anything bad? That might be a new challenge for you…

  17. Places Gone By

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 7 months ago

    Wow, doesn’t get any better than Saint Chuck’s praise right there, though I should confess that I’ve written plenty of bad, bad things. Just as my junior high guidance counselor.

  18. Places Gone By

    Dr. Lew's Buddy Icon Dr. Lew

    Posted 7 months ago

    wow that was, truly amazing- i almost cried

  19. Places Gone By

    Dr. Lew's Buddy Icon Dr. Lew

    Posted 7 months ago

    wow that was, truly amazing- i almost cried

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