I was a miniature Moses, no robe, no staff, no crazy long tangled beard. But still totally Moses, in a nonbiblical sort of way. Me and my Larry King interview, leading my people out of Egypt and into the promised land of liberty.

The founding fathers would be proud. I decried the evils of tyranny, the necessity of unalienable rights. The grievances of power-mad American Pharaohs. I’m pretty sure my face was glowing by the time we cut for commercial; the director lowered the studio lights a bit and called for makeup to unshine my nose.

I asked the audience if they had ever read the Declaration of Independence. It drives me to tears every time. Truer words were never penned, and yet my brethren today are grasping for the arms of King George again; freedom is a scary thing. Then again, so is running from chariots. Scary but necessary.

A seventeen-minute interview. It wasn’t much, but it was a start. I brought but one commandment: “Give me liberty, or give me death.” May our time in the wilderness be brief.