Ficlets

Enter the Brigands

“I don’t think awesomest is a word, but we got bigger problems!â€?

“Dude, drop it like it’s hot.â€?

“Just in front of us, right now, as I’m speaking to you – there are exactly thirteen berserk werewolves standing underneath a very very very full moon. “

“Oh Snap!â€?

“Behind us are about eighteen rotting, soulless, ghoulish, querulous, freaked out zombies lacking free will who want nothing better than to sink their carnassial teeth into the flesh of the living.â€?

“What’s good? I gotta bounce.â€?

“But what I’m most concerned about are the zombie-werewolf-vampire hunting ninjas that just appeared aboard that pirate ship.â€?

“Them boys ain’t nuthin’. See that chubby zombie-werewolf-vampire hunting ma swagger G ninja over there with there with the big chain? I’ll obliterate him!â€?

“Dude, are you nuts? Even that chumpy ninja brigand could tear you in half in three seconds!”

“Could not!”

“Could too!”

“Could not!”

“Stop! Why are you talking like that?”

“Like, Sorry dude. I do that when I’m nervous…”

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