Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars' published ficlets
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The Hitler Suicides

“Well, ain’t this ironic,” Detective Murray Russell growled, glowering at the crime scene like an angry old silverback gorill…
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Taking Sides

The cosmic shimmy had died down after the the Angel spoke, so Angela decided it was worth the risk to sneak a peek.
She crac…
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Wings Like Fire, Voices Like Thunder

All of reality seemed to shake and shudder, like someone trying to knock down a locked door.
A locked door the size of the e…
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Regrets? I've Had a Few...

Gates watched helplessly as death pirouetted down the hall, trailing smoke and flame.
Aware that he’d never get a shot off b…
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Life is Like A Poet

Life is like a poet.
You probably won’t be appreciated until after you’re dead.
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The First Illusion
“This place? It’s a zoo. You’re on display, just like all the other animals. And if you don’t leave, that’s all you’ll ever b…
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Ozymandias Retold, or That Awesome Thing in The Desert

I met this dude
Form this totally ancient land,
And he was all like: “Bro, there’s this busted gigantic statue
of some like m… -
My Pledge of Awesomeness

For my Feat of Awesomeness, I will kick the crap out of writers block.
I will quit being so hung up on trying to create a ma…
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Stella Starr and The Case of the Fledgling Flapper: Evie's Got a Gun

Stella turned around and found herself staring down the business end of a .38. On the other side of that heater was the elusi…
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Mermaid's Avenue

Traveling west, you, Joe and Zoe head for Mermaid’s Cove.
There, you find a ship. By it’s tattered skull and crossbones flag…
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The Blitzkrieg Bop

The three of you continue east, headed toward the spot marked on the map as “Blitzkrieg Bay”.
As you press through the jungl…
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Better Run Through the Jungle

You decide to continue north, hoping to elude your pursuers in the jungle.
After a few minutes of running through dense jung…
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Nonconformist Conformity (or, Do You Like My New Tattoo?) [six word challenge]

I’m different.
Just like everybody else.
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No, That Can't Be Right (or, Tuesday Night TV Observations) [six word challenge]

According to Jim hasn’t been canceled!?
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Dear Mom and Dad, [six word challenge]

Santa isn’t real…?
What about Jesus?
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Terrible Fanfiction Generator: "A Knight Rider in King Arthur's Court"

Michael Knight jumped into the driver’s seat of the sleek, black Pontiac Trans Am, narrowly avoiding a rain of arrows. The do…
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King of Mars' Answers to Nouvelle Bardot's Random Act of QUIZNESS

People who chew with their mouths open and smack loudly. Burn them at the stake.
Well, for starters, Kristen Bell is in it…
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You've Got the Awesome Quiz…I've Got the Awesome Answers

1.Dating a celebrity?
Joan of Arc — only if she looks like Jane Wiedlin from Bill and Ted.2.Buds with a celebrity?
Warren E… -
A Long Stream of Continuation (9)

“Steven here”, Spielberg said. “Zac, you really fucking suck.”
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The Perfect End to a Perfect Evening (minimum length challenge)

Her husband came home early, and now Rick is hiding in a closet.



