I’ve always hated these things. Every few years someone attempts one. They say that they’re trying to bring the factions together, that they want to unite the Classical Vampires and the Modern Vampires. They never consider the fact that none of us even want to sit at the same table.

The only thing I actually look forward to is the food. They always have a beautiful, naked virgin strapped to each table, and nothing tastes better than fresh virgin blood. I think it’s the only reason half of us Classicals show up.

I glanced over at the Modern table. Several of the men were groping their virgin. I shook my head in disgust. Vlad, who was sitting next to me, also seemed to notice. He sneered and said, “Fucking savages. They can’t even refrain from playing with their food. What are they? One hundred years old?”

A virgin on the Modern table broke free from her restraints and ran from the hall screaming

“Great,” Vlad said, “We’re on cleanup, so we have do deal with this shit.”