Kelsey, being a chronic kleptomaniac, couldn’t stop herself from ‘taking’ the pizza cutter from the shelf in Wal-mart.

She knew she was addicted, she didn’t even like pizza.
But ‘stealing’ gave her a high that only other petty crimes like jaywalking possibly could.
Kelsey had a collection of Academy Award winning films, the only ones missing were the 1933 winner for best picture,Cavalcade and 1938’s ironically titled, You Can’t Take It With You.
But of course Kelsey did take it with her. Along with the pizza cutter and People Magazine and a book by some up and coming young author named Stovohobo. Some Sci-Fi comedy guide to surviving a Zombie takeover of Earth.

When Kelsey wasn’t committing some low level crime, like graffiti, or putting coins in parking meters, she would be down in the doldrums. Bored beyond tears.

Excitement soaked through Kelsey, now her Best Oscar Picture’s collection was complete.

She jaywalked across the street to the pizza place to celebrate.