She: “Why were you hiding out in the bathroom so long?”

He: “I wasn’t hiding. I spent a whole 3 hours looking for the Tomb Raider nude codes and I needed a cold shower. Oh, and I crapped my pants.”

She: “You did what?”

He: “My pants. O.K.? I crapped my pants – Hanes underwear, size 28. Skid marks all over the place! You want to see them?”

She: “No! God no! That’s awful!”

He: “Well, don’t ask if you don’t wanna know things.”

She: “Things? Like what things?”

He: “You know -’ things ’ – like the Lara Croft nude codes, crapping my pants, the long shower, why I snort raw oysters through my nose. Those sort of ’ things ’. . . “

She: “Shane, you’re hiding something, aren’t you? You always look away from me like that when you’re lying.”

He: “Ha ha! Baby, give me a kiss.”

She: “Go away!”

He: “Come on, baby. How’s about a little tongue action?”

She: “Stop it!”

He: “One lil’ French kiss?”

She: “Damn you, Brian!”

He: “I’m not Brian.”

She: “Oh crap! I’m so sorry, Shane.”

He: “Yeah, those sorta things.”