Ficlets

What is heaven like

Jesus: So.. where was that phone call?

offstage all the people in the center are refusing to go near the phone and quite a few others are leaving in fright

Connie Chung: Let’s hold off of the phone call bit for a while. So.. What is heaven like?

Jesus: Aw – it is great. We get to copulate all we want, Elvis has really improved his repetoire, and Beethoven does a great beatbox..

Connie Chung: Wait. What about angels singing, heavenly harps, and praises to God?

Jesus: Are you kidding me? IS that what you think heaven is about? That explains the poor representation of humans there!

Connie Chung: I am lost. What do you mean? This is what we idealize as heaven.

Jesus: Yeah… humans would fill heaven with all they don’t like and nothing they love.. go figure.. See, I had the lecture on what heaven is like planned for a few days after Passover.. Had written it and everything.. course.. you killed me.. so.. those notes were lost.. but.

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