Ficlets

Jesus' third miracle.. sort of.

Connie Chung: So.. You are giving us free license to do what ever we want? There will be repercussions! There will be civil disobedience and insurrection. How can you advocate that?

Jesus: I don’t see how what I say would have much effect on you guys. Most of you didn’t believe me last time I was here. I figure I will try a little reverse psychology this time. Freud suggested it.

Connie Chung: So.. Reverse Psychology… Hang on.. Jesus. We have a phone call. Will you mind if we offer viewers a chance to call in?

Jesus: Naw.. fire away.

poof – fire consumes the phone in the hand of the attendant

Jesus: Aw shit..

poof – burned ashes turn into crap..

Jesus: Darn it.. let me try again.. Phone

poof – excrement turns into a phone again. Attendant refuses to go near it, still nursing burn wounds.

Jesus: So sorry about that.. I am still getting used to having all the power to preform miracles and all. So sorry. Heal.

poof – hands of attendant heal instantly.

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