There once was a man named Phil. He loved going to the zoo. Everyday he would go to the zoo. However, he loved watching the lions most. Yes, Phil loved lions. He even owned every sequel to The Lion King!

After visiting the zoo Phil would walk into a small secluded room, surrounded by a large tarp so no one could see him while he was eating.

So Phil went on with his life, always going to the zoo. One day, on his way to go to the zoo, he met a strange guru man. The guru man eyed Phil for a second and then said. “For ten dollars I will make your greatest dream come true.”

“Fo shizzle!” yelled Phil as he forked over his cash.

“Sometime today what you’ve always wanted will come.” said the guru.

That night Phil sat in his secluded room. Suddenly a lion burst in. I must have always wanted a lion, thought Phil, hoping the lion wouldn’t kill him.

The lion said, “Its Joe. I’m in the Oz play. Can I have five bucks?”

“Oh… OK.” said Phil, relieved.

It was then the tiger dropped from the ceiling and mauled him.