…….Well, it was
1.) Rather hard to follow
2.) Umm, watch spelling and grammar
3.) Some descriptions could have made it more interesting.
I admire your enthusiasm and devotion to all things Jonas Brothers

um… thanks? No offence Laine P. Grey but I don’tlike it when people tell me what I did wrong in my stories that just brings me down

great job and it was easy to follow

thanks mickeyyyyyy

Its a really cute ficlet you have here but I have to be honest. It was a little hard to follow. Thats an easy fix, just break it up into sections. Doesn’t have to be paragraphs (like 5 sentences or whatever) you could just be 2 or 3 sentences then 1. Like that so its easier to get a sense of whats going on. Laine’s right you do need to watch ur spelling and grammar but it wasn’t too bad.

Over all its a good ficlet. Sorry if this “brought you done” but one of the best parts of ficlets is that we can read eachothers stories and see the weaknesses and by commenting on them we can help eachother grow as writers and become better. Thats what its all about.

I agree with everyone. It was a little hard to follow and there were some spelling mistakes but it’s a good story. I have to agree with penguincaptin, overall it is a good ficlet. I’m sorry too if I brought you down but we’re all just trying to help. We help each other become better writers and that’s part of what this website is all about!

I do have to watch my spelling & I’ll try to make my next ficlet easier to follow. Thanks for all your comments & help! :)