Alabama- The death angel has again visited our community
and claimed for its victim Mrs. Suzanne Sunshine, better known as Snag Lightening Suzie, famous for her less than good looks and ability to confuse the electric element.

“We al’ays tried to keep her in the middle of the house
away from all the ‘pliances and outlets during a storm,” said
her sister, Slow Talking Sally, during a painful and tearful interview, “but since Bob’s death, she’d just been inconsoluable, unconswallowable. Y’know. We just couldn’t
make her understand it’d be okay.”

Suzie’s estranged husband, Trash Talking Tim, expressed
his mournful misery in such a way that we will leave his sentiments private.

A memorial service will be held at Itchy’s Crabshack and
covercharge will be reduced to half price in honor of Suzie
on Tuesday.

A graveside service is also planned. However, Rev.
Wanamaker asks that unless you are immediate family or
directly involved in the burial, please be advised that you attend at your own risk.